2013 - 2014

Where in the world did 2014 go?

Life has been crazy, busy and wonderful all at the same time.

Usually at the end of every year I reflect on the past and post my goals for the future..... guess what? I started that post.... and just deleted it because we are already in the middle of January and I just barely reopened my Blogger. Time flies when you're having fun! Sometimes even when your not.

2013 Holidays - They were hectic but good.

Thanksgiving 2013 I spent alone at home and working a second job at Macy's to pay towards Alexys' cheer fees. The kiddos were the lucky ones and went with Paul to see Grandma and Grandpa Brooks in Eastern Oregon. They both had a great time and were blessed to have lots of with their grandparents.
Chandler, Paul and Grandpa Steve went camping on the Summit Creek Property the day after Thanksgiving. They spent the night in the new cabin, made huge fires, and Chandler even got to drive Paul and Grandpa Steve around in Grandpa's new UTV. He said he really had a great time and it was special to have one-on-one time with family. Alexys on the other hand got spoiled by Grandpa Gerri doing Black Friday Shopping in Baker for the first time. Grandma Gerri took her to pick out her birthday gifts and just have a wonderful girls day! I am so blessed that the Brooks Family really spent some extra time with the kiddo's over Thanksgiving break and made it extra special for them. It was hard for me to have the holiday without the kids but it was for a good cause.

Christmas 2013 was wonderful. The kids and I really missed all of our family in Utah but it was nice for us to have a Christmas at home with no where to go this year.

Our 2013 Christmas Tree

Christmas Eve we all took the train to downtown Portland and the kids passed out hats to the homeless and each had a set amount that they were given to bless the homeless. It was a really neat experience to watch the kids try to find the people that they felt needed their blessings the most. As a mom, I had plenty of tear filled moments as I saw the kids reaching outside of their comfort zones and really trying to make connections with people. I do have to say this was the highlight of Christmas for me. It was everything I hoped it could be.

Christmas Eve Dinner Table Setting



Paul and the kids sorting out gifts!



The stockings were hung...

After blessing the homeless in Portland we went home and made Christmas Eve Dinner together as a family, opened up our presents and watched Christmas movies until we were all ready for sleep.

Christmas morning we all slept in.... woke up and went through our stockings to see what great surprises Santa Clause left us.... and spent the entire day as a family in our jammies watching movies. It was the best ever!!!

New Year's Eve...... I was sick and in bed early. Alexys went with Jordan to a family party and Paul and Chandler slept through the new year with me. See how fun our family is? LOL

So now on to 2014. We are simply blessed. Alexys had a brief set back with cheer because of a MCL Strain but by the first of the year she was back and working hard. Her Competition Season has officially started and is going to be crazy and exciting. We are really excited for all of the trips we get to take and places we will have the opportunity to see throughout the season. Here are a few pictures from this month so far.

Alexys!

Alexys and Jordan. So glad he came to support her doing what she loves!

Waiting for awards.

P4 Team

Alexys, Coach AmyLynn and Coach Heather. Best coaches ever!

Alexys and her Coaches having fun!

Competition Floor

Thankfully I am done working at Macy's since it was only a seasonal position and was blessed to be offered extra hours for a couple months at my day time job. I plan to enjoy my children, be thankful, be happy and be positive. When one door closes another one opens and we really have gotten off to a great start this year.

Who knows when I will be able to update next - from now till mid April I will be busy working, working, working, being a Mom and a Cheer Mom. Every weekend has something to do with cheer so if you don't hear from me.... I am okay, Just enjoying my children. :) Much Love

Where did October go???

Oh my goodness, where did October go? Between work and cheer somehow I lost that it is the last week of October. Usually I already have my Halloween decor up and around the house and have pre planned out where the Christmas tree will go (only because I like to set it up on 11/1). This year I haven't done any of that. At this point I am not sure that I am going to. Halloween wasn't usually one of my favorite holidays but it was so fun for the kids. 

The reality is that my children are no longer small, they are extremely tall and wonderful teenagers that apparently don't plan out their costumes unless they are invited to a Halloween Party (Alexys!). Is it sad that I miss the fight over the cost of the costume or if they can wear the one from last year? As much as I used to dread those moments, now that they are gone I miss them!

Chandler recently turned 14 and decided that trick or treating wasn't so cool or important last year. Alexys finally give up trick or treating because she is a Sophomore and has a boyfriend and has been invited to his families Halloween Party.

Does this mean I have to still pass out candy? Or since my doorbell is broken can I just go to bed early?? 

Over the weekend we took the kids to the pumpkin patch to pick out some WAY overpriced pumpkins. It was actually a lot of fun walking through and picking out the "right" pumpkins. 

We went to Plumper Pumkin Patch

 

The moment when they both decided they were still small :)

 

My beautiful daughter, Alexys

 

Chandler, Paul and Alexys

 

Chandler rocking the pumpkin patch - he so does not love pictures. 

All in all it was a great time! I am glad that we got out and walked through the mud together. Would have liked to save the $40 (which means each pumpkin was approx 10# each) but it was worth the trip. The leaves and the trees are so amazing here. Weekend mini trips likes these; to do something so simple as find the "right" pumpkin are the moments I think I will always treasure. Happy October!x

Fall

Wow, I feel like I am on fire! Okay it just feels good the have some free time to update my blog postings for  those who follow me. Today - is two post Friday apparently!!! Summer and Fall are different season which have totally different events and in our family was the night and day difference and when all of the major changes took place in our lives.

Alexys and Chandler both started new schools the day after Labor Day. Chandler wasn't super thrilled about going from a High School to a JR High again but it has been a great move. The kids schools here do not have nearly as many elective classes or college opportunities. Both of them have settled in and have done extremely well either way.

Alexys Fall 2013

Chandler Fall 2013

I seriously couldn't be a prouder momma of these two amazing teenagers who have been through hell and back and moved across multiple states this year. They are the rocks that keep me grounded and the two people in life that give me the strength everyday to keep a positive attitude and strive to be a better mother. I am truly blessed.

CHEER
Alexys was heartbroken leaving RCHS in Utah. She lives, eats, and breathes cheer. We found a gym and decided to try out a tumbling class at the end of August so that she could continue to work on her skills until Spring Basketball Cheer tryout came around. Here is another perfect example of Everything Happening for a Reason: Midway through her trial tumbling class she was invited to assist the Platinum Cheer Team with some of their stunts. Her 45 minute class turned into 3 hours that night. The coach and owner of the gym invited Alexys to join their Level 4 Platinum Competitive Cheer Team!!

I was super excited and yet super nervous because there were a few skills that she really needed to work on and it is difficult at times to join a team that has already been together for months. Then there were all of the costs involved. We'll just say that I am not buying this girl a car because her cheer cost more than the $1800 I had budgeted for her first car. But it has been totally worth it. Amylynn and Heather at !mpact Athletics are some of the most amazing coaches ever and have been extremely encouraging and supportive of Alexys. I have never seen a coach be able to reach out to young minds and help them work through their fears and accomplish some absolutely amazing stuff.

So now our schedules are worked around cheer and practices and the next 6 months will be full of amazing trips and vacations that we would have never dreamed of or saved for. I am still not sure on the financial part will work out but we are really excited to be going to the Seattle, Washington area twice, Las Vegas in March and Hawaii in April. I decided that if there is a will there is a way and I would have never just taken the kids on any of these vacations had I not had a force (!mpact Cheer) pushing me to do it.

Alexys has made so many improvements just over the last 2 months she has been with !mpact and she has made so many new and great friends. I thankfully feel like I can call !mpact a family, the parents, athletes and coaches are priceless!

One year ago Alexys had a major fall and was told that she would never be able to do her splits again. With determination and support from her coaches she has defied all odds - she's pretty amazing!

Homecoming
Last but not least, Alexys was asked to Homecoming by Jordan who the same evening or the next day asked her out. He is a super sweet and respectful Senior that is on the Varsity Football team at their high school. Here's a couple pictures from homecoming.

Alexys all dolled up for her date.

Alexys and Jordan

Good ~ Bad ~ Indifferent
It just depends on how you look at it. Everything happens for a reason, it happens the way it is meant to be. We are all adjusting just fine here in Portland. We miss our family in Utah and our friends and the warmth of Arizona but Oregon is pretty nice. We enjoy the drive to the beach to play in the ocean and the walks in our neighborhood where we get to enjoy the autumn weather again after two years of missing it.

The beautiful trees we get to enjoy in our neighborhood of green.

The colors, the wonders and the possibilities. Hope you have a wonderful rest of your Friday and enjoy your weekend. God Bless.

Options

Have you ever just been so incredibly emotional that everything seems to intensify that emotion regardless of what it is? That would be me today. I suddenly feel so overwhelmed with everything that simple small things are seeming SOOO BIG!

Work is still pretty great. At times it can be extremely overwhelming just because there is so much to learn. I am still not smoking!!! Even though days like today I really want to.

Kids are doing pretty good. Chandler struggles not having family around like Alexys does and I struggle to find an in between. I notably have stretched myself a little too thin even for me. Chandler goes to his grandparent's home about once a month and gets a 30 minute phone conversation with his bio dad. Sometimes I wish he had more, I wish there was more that I could give him and at times feel like I am failing him. It's rough. Alexys on the other hand is settling in every other weekend with her bio dad and family. I am really grateful that she has a really great step-mom who really tries to involve her in every aspect of their lives. I think that is important as she needs all of the love and support she can get.


And me, well besides the fact that I truly am overwhelmed with school and trying to find a balance am well... overwhelmed and unbalanced. It sometimes feels like I take two steps forward and five steps backwards. This seems to have been the theme lately. I get one dad there for the kids and then the other not, find a great guy to be there for both then have him bail. Sometimes I wonder if I will see the blessings in disguise over some of the turmoil and heartache and other days I really just want to give up. Thankfully I have two amazing children so I have at least five more years to hold it together for them.

So I have heard a lot of the ...you are so strong, yaddy, yady yaddah ... BS I am so not strong. What I am is great at putting a smile on my face and faking it through a bunch of public crap. I wait till I am home... and alone... to find an extra spot to bottle just a little more until I have one of these days....
Then I get online and find stories of others, of women and families who have it so much worse than me and then I pray. I pray that God will soften my heart so I am not angry with those who have the life I once had and not allow others to see my weakness. I read positive and uplifting posts and quotes and try to share them, to try to lift someone else's spirit that day and to push my anger and sadness away. 

I am sick of being an option! I am sick of my children being an option. I am not a rag doll that you can pick up, text, or call because it is so seemingly convenient. With that said, I will not change who I am either. I love, help and care to my own fault. Sometimes so much that when I am in a position that I need that same love, care and help I dished out... often there is no one there to return the favor. That doesn't mean that I suck or that I am a bad friend. It means YOU ARE! I have friends and family I would do anything for, I would forgive for the unforgivable, I would give them my last dollar, the shirt off my back and the food from my children's mouths but I couldn't say that many of them would return the favor. Guess that is the hand I was dealt or they all don't know me at all. Maybe a little bit of both.

Okay so this post is simply going bad. So here I am. Here is the vulnerable me. I totally wanted to delete this and not post it at all but decided that it would be wrong. It would defeat the purpose of me blogging, of me being me.

So here I post. Please, don't flood my inbox or phone because you suddenly give a crap! Instead, pray that God will soften your heart. Try not to treat people as if they were your second option. We all have a choice... thank God for free will. Everything Happens For A Reason. Still standing by that. Today, I am not sure of all of the reasons, or the lessons, I know that everything I have been through has made me who I am... and today, I am okay with it being, just that.

God Bless.

Having Faith

Sometime you totally just have to have faith....

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook. Today I decided it totally applied and I felt that I needed to share and post.

Alexys started school Tuesday. She has had a difficult time transitioning, my heart aches for her because she misses Arizona, her friends and her school so much. On the other hand, Chandler is thriving at school and has transitioned well. He is making new friends at school and adapting to life here, not that he doesn't miss Arizona life but he is handling the changes pretty well.

As for me, the challenges with the children have been hard but I am making it through day by day and sometimes moment by moment. Finally I have had a minor break through on the job hunting end of things! Who knows how many resumes I have sent out or online applications I have completed but today it totally paid off; I received three phone calls and have interviews lined up. School is crazy hectic for me but I am keeping up with it.

After taking the last year and a half off of work the idea of getting back into the working world was something I was half looking forward to and half dreading. It has been amazing to experience being a stay at home mother and a full time student. Being a full time homemaker was far more difficult than I could have ever imaged it would be. I easily filled my time volunteering with the kids activities, being carpool mom, and running errands, I often found myself wondering how I ever made time to do all of those things when I worked. I now have a very high respect for stay at home parents, it really is a full time job in itself!

I know that while continuing to be a full time student - silly me signed up for 18 credit hours this semester - it will be good for me to get back into the working world. I am excited to get my independence back and see what new adventures are to come.

*Everything Happens For A Reason *