Parenting has got to hands down be one of the hardest things to do.
I truly love my children with all of my heart and am extremely overprotective of both of them. No mother wants to see their child with heartache, heartbreak, or hurt feelings. And if you are like me.... when you do see your child in this position you totally want to verbally attack the person or persons that have hurt them or are involved. I have learned to ask, "Do you want me to talk to them?" Because I want my children to know that I am there to protect them at the same time I want them to be able to fight their own battles too. Neither is easy to do. I love that my kids can come to me when things are bothering them, for advice and when their feelings are hurt.
Everyday I feel that I wake up and live my life attempting to model the behaviors I would like my children to emulate; I am NOT perfect - thank goodness! I have my moments of: Do as I say and not what I do. We teach our children the golden rules like treat adults with respect, treat others as you would like to be treated, kill them with kindness and so on and then they become teenagers and can see the world in a different realm altogether. That is when they feel like they are always right and life is still so not fair. I want my children to become happy, healthy, productive young people; I want them to make good choices, stand up for themselves and for what they know is right, I want them to know that their feelings matter and that NO One has the right to tear them down or make them feel less than.
One of the hardest parts of parenting for me is that when they hurt I hurt too. As much as I try to help stear both of them into directions and away from people who are, or have hurt them I have to respect their feelings and simply stand back and wait until it's time to help pick up the pieces and wipe their tears again. But I hate that they have to experience that hurt. I wish I could protect them from the negativity in people, in their lives and in this world but I can't shield them from it all, no matter how hard I try. That hurts.
I believe that no one is perfect. I believe in second chances. I believe that I have raised my children to understand both of these beliefs. I try to see the good in all things and all people and I try to be an uplifting positive person. BUT... of course there had to be a but in there... I am so tired of people in my children's lives thinking it is okay to hurt them, to hurt their feelings, to make them feel less than or unimportant. Everyday we wake up with a choice in how our day will go, who we interact with, how we will treat others and what will affect our lives. I just wish those who claim that they want to be there for my children or be a part of their lives would think about those things, think before making empty promises or plans.
Okay, that was enough rambling and venting... I don't know that any of it even made me feel better. I am just tired of looking like the bad guy when I am trying so hard to do what is best for them. I love them so much and it just hurts so bad when they are hurting.
FUTURE POST TO LOOK FORWARD TO: Alexys getting her permit!